I thought you would of been different since you were hurt before. I believe abandoning you was a mistake. Maybe if I came back we could fix it. Could of made it work. And I did… I opened my heart to you. I let you kiss all over my body. Run your your fingers in places no one else has been. That Saturday night I thought about giving the most special gift: my virginity. But my mind was superior than my heart and feelings. I thought to myself maybe next time. Perhaps I found the love of my life, someone that truly cares for me and one day will love me endlessly…
However, you didn’t. You bullshitted me into believing you cared and wanted something serious. I let you see parts of me that I should have only shown to my future husband. I laid with you, felt your warmth, stroke your hair, and gliding my hands over your body. You filled my neck with kisses that were overwhelming. You overwhelmed my heart, soul, and body. But most of all you overwhelmed my mind. But you overwhelmed me with all of your indirectness and playing with my emotions. When I asked you “what are we?” You said “I honestly don’t know”. So you didn’t know, but you had the audacity to say “you know we could do more”. You weren’t ready for a relationship, but you wanted to make love to me.
It doesn’t work like that! You tricked me into your little game and I’m done playing it. Everyone told me you didn’t deserve me, that I deserved better, but I kept downgrading hoping someone would appreciate me. Obviously the worst of the worst won’t appreciate shit. I realized I DID deserve better, someone with goals and that loves me through all of my phases. Queen Bee said “you only want me when I am naughty” I guess you did too. I could bash you, I really could, like you did the first time. That’s not my character, I will get over what you couldn’t put a title to. I should have left this thing the first time, but I guess the heart is a powerful thing. The only thing I regret is letting you know my body, but most of all knowing the person who I am: my goals, ambition, and all the small things. I probably was the only one that got attached, but it’s okay.
I guess you have to love the worst in order to find the person that loves you more than life itself. We can’t have the rainbow without rain, can’t we?
I hope you find who you really are. That one woman comes into your life for the better. That her love is as deep as any ocean and she indulges you with true love and affection. That she could make you the happiest man on Earth. Hopefully you could wish me that too. But, frankly I wouldn’t care if you do or don’t. We weren’t made for each other clearly and I was too good and innocent for you. Goodbye, and in your own words………… “Then so be it”